Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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at 5:53 PM

at 5:05 PM

yoz... ahah its the 3rd day at the ward~ the first day i gif the wrong timing for the medication.. 2nd day got scolded by the relative of an old lady... 3rd day spilled patient's lunch.. heng she dun like porridge.. i change one rice meal for her.. phEwZ~ (-.-")... keke sad hor for the patients.. to have this kind of nurse muahaha.... becos this is my 2nd time in the wards.. the first time is in yr 1.. thats y i clumsy like Elephant.... sobz.. keke ytd i slept at 10 liao becos early next morning must wake up at 12... its really tiring lor.. work from 7am-3pm already tired liao.. die die die.. 7hrs of standing + 1hr of break.. my leg ache like crazy.. heng i got bring my shoes go there n wear home.. k la nothing much to blog abt... go n write my objectives for this ISP liao... byez



at 10:35 PM

hmm today went out with ah vi n Jast.. on the bus when Jast msg me asking if i wearing skirt or jeans.. i say i wearing skirt lor.. den after that ah vi boarded the bus she say Jast will be wearing skirt.. wah~! tio shock~ first time Jast say she will wear skirt.. nv once did i saw her wearing skirt in school b4 sia... hmm.. must have something on den will wear skirt de bahz.~ but in the end she meet us at last cabin but nv wear skirT~!! idiot.. i odd one out liao lor.. hahaha.. but the weather today was really "cool" lor!!! shiok ah! -.-|||

we first went to park mall to get vivi's nuskin products... expensive sia!!! $200++ hmm but cheaper than outside products liao la.. after that we went to eat at Han's below park mall.. hmm first time went there... keke abit sua ku hor~ becos i always tot Han's have to order at the counter ourselves de... end up didn't! the waitress take our order from table~

-commercial-
wah this is the 4th time i listen to this song for the past 2 days..It on rAdio now.. 10.17pm on 933fm--- Shou Le Dian Shang by Ah Sang.. hmm the lyrics very sad de... heard it on radio quite a few times.. -.-" hmm must put on my blog let u all hear.. ~>.<~

hmm saying about service.. vivi noe im going to say abt the party wporld "GOOD" service liao.. even eat our money wor.. hahaa. next time someone cheat our money i will be very alert liao. puiz* after we eat finish we crapping around abt everything lor.. but that Jast dunno doing wad or dreaming abt her prince charming.. toking to her like toking to the plate... hahaha.. today im not the most blur person le~ keke.... she really like in her own world.. ask her about her opinion she also in a daze~ -.-|| haiz.. after tha i go the atm.. no money liao wor... mummy~~ help.. left $5.06 :P bought nothing also dunno where the money gone.. sobz.

We went to hmv bought Jast cd of her little "zhi" keke i tot is sun xie "zhi".. (sweats profusely) almost bought a pair of shorts from 37 degrees but in the end nv buy.. becos $30~ hmm the next week need to go out need to spend the money too..so cannot anyhow spend.. bought nothing lehx.. onli a pair od slippers.. recently the slippers reli torture me wor... pain all over my leg.. hate them.. when we leaving Hmv.. asking Jast going where later.. she looks like she got something on.. idiot sia.. still say today got alot of time to walk around dun need to walk so fast.... ask her she meeting who..s he say we dunno one la.. in the end is the D lor.. haha.. we dun noe D one la.. where GOT NOE? they peirce one mahz... me n vivi is pei ya zhong xue one.. different.~ very different~~@@ they 4E1 de.. we 4E3.. :X pengz... haha... this explains why she today in a TOTAL daze.. muhaha~

k la.. dun say about her if not she will nag in my blog later when she gets back after he movie-ing wif D... so good got date~~ we after go hmv went to wisma shop n go their MO phosis.. hahahahaha.. pengx.. duno how they can read till that spelling :X~ we all bought that m)phosis slippers but diff design la.. hehe dun angry ah~ wah ah vi really rich sia.. haiz.. i eyeing for that guess watch for soo long le.. haiz... also nv buy.. ex sia.. $149 very pretty lor.. hmm that evil vivi just bought it~~ hurhur.. no more le.. she bought the last one.. but she say Og still have.. hmm anyway by the time i have the money already out of stock liao :( kekeke.. the funny thing abt the watch is when u wear it on urself.. it looks TOTALLY UGLY, no matter how u look at it... but when other ppl wear it, its so pretty**** wow~ hahaha.. i until now still can remmeber how Jast look of DISGUST when she put the watch on her hands.. even the salesgirl laughed n trying very hard to hide it.. :P hmm its really a good buy for ah vi sia.. Jast say: other ppl see nice can liao.. own self see ugly nvm.. (wad a good way of phrasing!!)

after that we heading to take train liao lor.. pei fish Jast to wait for the 4E1 friend.. :P wah he really slim down alot wor.. hmm the whole mrt looks like many of them is wear cap de.. nowaday liu xing wear cap?! keke.. we nv crap so much liao lor..ah vi kept saying got one type of plaster is put on slipper de so that it wun :bite" the leg bahz.. hmm went to watson's but nv sell lehx.. wad luck we have... *** but kind angel ah vi say she will buy for me when she sees it*** (-.^)\/ thankz! we went back home after that..



at 7:05 PM

White- your underwear are nice and simple. no one
is going to see them, so you don't really care.
You probably have a few pairs of fun maybe
flowery underwear, but the mojority of your
underwear is normal.


What Color is YOUR Underwear???
brought to you by Quizilla



at 7:02 PM


Slippers- happy, sweet, and adorable, you are well
loved by everyone. People cannot help but like
you. You love to be surrounded by people that
love you, who- in your case- is anyone. [please
vote! thank you! :)]


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



at 6:54 PM


Your and Innocent Unicorn! Innocent Unicorns are
very pure and good. They are the rarest of
types and sadly, are being hunted. Thats
because an Innocent Unicorn horn once removed
from the head, is worth alot of money, and if
left in holy water for a day, will turn into
diamond. Young Innocent Unicorns always stay
close to their mothers, and always will stand
by there side even when they grow. Innocent
Unicorns are said to be the friends of angels
and can dance on moonbeams. Innocent unicorns
represnt virginty, goodness, pureness, and
love. They always value friendship, and
familly, and are facinated by humans. Innocent
unicorns are shy, but if friends for someone,
its a friend to the end.


What kind of Unicorn are you? (With beautiful pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla



at 12:32 AM

this pic really ugly sia.. at least show some evanescence pic mahz.. btw.. got this from ah vi's blog~ cute sia..

Bring Me To Life

Your Lyrics

How can you see
into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home.

(Wake me up.
Wake me up inside.
I can't wake up.
Wake me up inside.
Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Wake me up.
Bid my blood to run.
I can't wake up.
Before I come undone.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become.)

Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.

[Chorus]

Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life.

Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.

All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.

Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul

Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong.
Bring me to life.

[Chorus]

Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.

Bring me to life


What Evanescence song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

at 10:58 AM

just read my mail.. suddenly realised the QL boyfriend looks like Xm.. :P


at 10:56 AM

Last night had a dream.. about Jast, vi and me at jasmine house.. play mahjong.. then suddenly Jast boyfriend came to picked her to go home becos very late le... lolx.. den i tot is just another tall tall guy.. but in my heart.. it kept telling me its some one i noe... some one i noe...... den u both quarrelled at the staircase abt a dead cat.. i also dunno why ...den tok until very angry.. he jump down from that storey...i tot he died.. faster look down from there.. he nv die.. walked of with another girl den he looked up n smiled at me... den i woke up le...... haiz.. cold sweat...-.-"




at 11:51 AM

Got this from Carol's blog~ quite true the tesT~

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

at 10:19 AM

keke.. he idiot sia!! bluff me say he failed his TP for motor... :P keke he got onli 6 points of erroe for his tp!! so clever~ hmm now going to save some money for his bike down payment..... u nv noe how much he hates to walk or take train n buese~

ytd went to watched the Eye 2... hmm lousier den my expectation...still prefer the Eye 1.. not as scary as i thought.. the neck very "suan".. becos of the show sound effect very loud so i constantly hide behind his shoulders... dens ome parts of the show.. very boring.. not advisable to watch..

* HopE That moNey God Dun Turn His Back on Him *


at 12:57 PM


Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone.

"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face."

The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.

As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla



at 12:05 PM

*Haiz.. he must be damn sad now... hope he call me soon.* God let nothing happen to him... today is his birthday.. Let him forget wadever unhappy things... .. bei if u happen to see this.. just to tell u i will be there for u when u need me... pls call me.


at 1:13 PM


Heart of Crystal


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla



at 10:21 PM


What [Cakes] are you?



at 10:20 PM


Do you need a boy/girl friend now?





at 2:32 AM


Which [Rainbow Colours] are you?




at 2:23 AM


Which occupations suit you?



at 2:20 AM


Are you easily stressed?



at 1:54 AM

guess im born to be alone.. no wonder i always seems stupid n blur infront of my friends...still will have some body who loves me. i always wonder why im so lucky to have a boyfriend who loves me so much.......... so many a times i thank god n feel that im the most fortunate girl in the world to have him...... becos i tot im so blur, silly, unconfident,ugly, rude and not at all gentle n all i noe guys around me dun usually think good of me..i mean i dun get into their good books.

either they will think that im flirt or im just a irritaing person around... i dunno wad i've done.. im just being myself... doing wad i like.. when i have colin i already dun care abt other guys think of me....even if they think i'm a slut, i dun even gif a damn! i always think that as long as the person who love me treat me good can le.. as long as he love me for who i am can le......

until today den i noe im terribly wrong... although im not beaten up or abused by him physically.. but let ppl saying me bitch and cheap n flirting around and "always longing for new guy". really makes me feel very hurt... let alone he is the one whome i loved so much... i'm emotionally abused sooo many times. i'm already all worn out.

all of the sudden i feel that i dun actually noe him... he seem so far from me.. just like wad other guys see me as.. some wad i just lost hope in him.. thinking all the past things that we have been through.. all have been a nightmare...its just so hard to fathom his heart... can be nice to u this moment.. the other monent can say that im "longing for new guys all the time" if im really like wad he say i wouldn't bother to stay by him for 1 yr +.. maybe u all may find that im overreacting.. but to me.. those hurtful words are onli spoken by ppl who dun love me, dun understand me... i really can't accept the msg is from his mobile.

im thinking to myself why am i crying over.. its just a msg... but ...

it means so much to me.

*God now i noe my fate's not so good after all*



at 2:58 PM


Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)


What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla



at 2:38 PM

hmm boring afternoon.. missed shopping so much.. and im now not very rich too... haiz.. ytd work until 12 onli earn $30.. wah.. really tired lor.. serve this serve that.. clear the goblets.. den set new tables.. haha but i think my baobei more busy.. and tired than me.. he still have to roll many tables and stack those chairs... somemore next week his birthday, have been trying to save some money for this thursday.. aiyoyo. lolz run out of ideas.. wad must i do for him? ..

this monday test le.. actually im not very confident in myself de.. recently the lecturer teach like wanna catch train like tat.. haven even copy finish den next slide le.. haiz.. now i'm practising on my practical for monday.. endocrine system really suckY!!! arghHHH.... k la go piak my bio le... later meet my dear~

*God pls be a little blind on his misdeeds and a little generous in heart to gif him ur blessings on Thursday*

**Thank you Lord**


at 10:19 PM

today is a Rainy too.. thursday. nothing much happened la.. wake up in the morning den hurry go n buy my hotcakes.. end up no promotion le.. $3 each wah xiaong lehx.. $6.. haiz.. actually the other hotcake is buy for my baobei de. but today he say not meeting me le.. haiz.. waste my effort.. thinking he will surely praise me dE~ becos the last few days he kept complaining that he wanted to eat hotcake so much.. it like yrs ago since he last eat it.. :'( everything was just my own wishful thinking.... my hotcake i onli eat 2, left 1 i decided to gif him.. he like mahz.. 4 surely enough.. haiz.. at first safely keep in the microwave.. den after that i scared spoil i put in the fridge. now?? still in the fridge... think tml should be gone* (eaten by my parents ofr sister le) aiyoyo..... just one msg to say he lazy to come out den my mood all ruin for the whole lecture le.. chiam liao.. ICA next monday

... seems like nothing had got into my brain.

haiz.. he just dun like to see my face bah i think. haha maybe u all think i stupid right.. go and buy hotcake in the morning, evening still can eat mehx? i also dunno wad im doing.... i decided to heat it up then pass to him de.. but now come to think .. where got ppl evening eat hotcake de? haiz......... i deserve it. :'(


at 10:42 PM

hmm today is a rainy day~ since last night rain rain rain until now.. dunno end liao mah... went to school wif an umbrella.. the umbrella like got hole one.. somehow got a few drops will sip tru on my head... -.-" hmm nothing special la.. today but learnt quite alot of blood typing.. wah.. if the mother got Rh- in the blood and the 1st child is Rh+ the 2nd child will not survive... haiyo.. until today i den noe.. but heard from my lecturere still got cure one la.. after the 1st child birth do something to the blood den produce the 2nd child... then 2nd child will survive.... hmm... wad incredible things it can do... killing some lives.

hmm live can't be predictable... just like weather.. live withers away wif just one thing going wrong... why so fragile?... cui ruo dao rang ren jue de hai pa..

today after my class at 315pm.. went to dhoby find my dear.. he say the cos very nan... chim until lao sai.. hahaha.. i broguth him a fish burger and umbrella.. .:P even lend him my jacket.. so small.. he wear till very cute! :Dlolz.. he say nv expect me to pick him up there.. he actually wanna make me feel guilty de... make me miss him more~ but heng i go pick him.. becos still raining heavily and his hands damn cold.. hmm makes me wanna protect him more.. looks like im more on the "guy" part rather than girl's part of being protected.* lolz..

Got my 3rd pair of earring of this week.. it's heart shape black colour de... hmm like it alot.. but i like the playboy rabbit earring more. black n red in colour.. haiz.. but it's too expensive... $16.90. after that. bought some bread talk den went home le lor.. shit!.. forgot to gif him my umbrella before he left.. still raining damn heavily....

*hope he doesn't catch a cold tomorrow*


at 10:23 PM

today's a sunday le~ ~>.<~~ sobs.. wad a weekend.. went beaching twice, movie twice and one picnic.. hohoho~ im a black woman sia... hmm can say not bad la.. i tot i will have a stay-at-home break week.. :)

Just came back from beaching wif my dear just now.. super tired.. becos last night work till 11.. den came home to prepare all the things.. this morning wake up at 8...-.-" haiz.. saw nette and juan ytd at st.. wah they reli dun tok to colin.. haiz.. sometimes loving a person is a crazy thing..You can forget and forgive wadever mistake he did..every mistake like in "invisible mode".. hmm.. love is kind n patience. :D haiz. some of my friends might think that i shouldn't forgive colin or maybe should not gif him a chance.. but man do make mistakes.. not perfect like some "shen xian", of cos im not so stupid to forgive someone who dun love me as much and not willing to change for me... since he show that he is sincere to change then i think must be forgivable la!

Or maybe i loved him too much.. keke.. can u believe that sometimes i still feels sad when he left me to go home after sending me. she bu de bahz.. =P just like a kindergarten school kid who dun wish to separate from her mum...

today went beaching wif him wah.. the longest bah.. that i ever stayed in the water.. the sun not particularly very big but im like a chao ta woman.. sobs. saw a white girl at jubilee just now... it must have been beautiful 2 look like snow white~~ envy(0.o)

hmm anyway about the job and study thingy, solved le.. the job is onli on for 3 days~ so wun affect his study for his course... tml he going to work 1/2 day onli.. aiyo.. think he will onli earn $100 odd for this 3 days after the 2 1/2 days. ke lian.. wah that bloody in teacher of the course reli dunno how to say.. peace centre nearer to dhoby rite? kao.z.. we walked from bugis down to there.. leg almost broke. -.-"

*praying for dear's TP on His birthday...*


at 10:05 AM

today's a saturday already..time flies man~.. break week's reli short till cannot.. :P wonder wad to do today.. think he not meeting me today bahz.. becos i going to class gathering at around 5.. haha.. juan aske dme ytd if i have forgave him about wad happened.. i said ya lah.. i can't hold grudges long de lor.. some more i forgetful.. since he say he can change, just gif him another chance lor.. until maybe i can't tolerate him wif all my limits, i will let him go. Of cos i Dun wish to gif up anything i love dearly.

haiz.. really dunno how to please his parents.. dun say hi they say i rude.. go n say hi say i nv greet them.. (I DID HOR! IS THEY NV HEAR PROPERLY!!) fuk. dunno wad i can go colin say next time just dun let them see me.. ok lor.. haiz.. pleasing ppl are one of the toughest job to me. [sweats -.-"||]

ytd we did had some misunderstanding of upgrading oneself, becos ytd the job agency just called him, they got a job for him! but it didnt come in the right time.colin's attending a course now to upgrading himself.. maybe he can go poly .. but he say the chance is very slim.. the course is something like a backup course completed in a few weeks.. not knowing which subject ot choose.. he say maybe he will choose work.. then i say in the long run not doing him any good.. i say i rather him to upgrade himself now.. planning for the future rather than start working now.. .. he thinks that im looking down on him..becos i say if u start working now.. it will interfere wif studies.. and wad abt the future? hmm.. i dunno this will hurt his ego.

im not someone who will think a big round to look down on ppl de la.. becos im not that fast la.. sometimes wad i have in mind i just say it.. lolz.. so alot of mistakes made. he thinks i saying it intentionally...... but i dun. haiz.. next time must reli think carefully becos using words.

practical test next next monday... sian liao. haven even study. must definitely study all the endocrine n reproductive parts by next week.

*God bless me*


at 2:23 PM

you are slateblue #6A5ACD

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy. Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it. Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

at 9:40 AM


Honor: You are an honorable person who is firm with
his/her beliefs and treats others as you are
treated. People would consider you humble at
times and very respectful, and someone to
definitely respect back.


Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla



at 1:16 PM


You should be dating a Gemini
21 May - 20 June
This mate is inquisitive, entertaining and
charming, liberal, broad-minded and youthful.
Though Gemini has a tendency to be impatient,
gossipy and sometimes irritable, this twin has
the ability to expresses his or her pent up
emotions during sex!


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla



at 11:09 AM

sometimes i really wonder wad does a "blog" means to other ppl... isn't it a place for ppl to really release out wad's in thir heart and not caringif any ppl were to dislike any of the comments stated in the blog.. as wad i noe... somebody thinks im complaining in the blog each time i writes it... maybe to u it is... but to me its the onli way to relieve my emotions and of cos sometimes angry... but i really dun want to have any views changed becos of the contents i've wrote...

Actually everytime i blooged its usually about those unhappy things.. which i have no where to put my emotions... lolz.. u all should be glad that i seldom bloggewd then!! :P hmm this time i wanna blogged down wad's in my heart for the past 2 days.. which i think i've blamed for the utmost humiliation n hurt from the one i loved the most... wad i wrot ein my most previous blogs are right.. its really the galfriends who will be there when something bad happens between a couple... Qi shi until today i still canot accept that he actually misunderstood me a great deal when im not with him... and scolded me something like BITCH or JIAN girl... haiz.. when i saw those msges.. its like someone who knows u really inside out.. turn a dagger straight to ur heart.... very pain... until i went utterly quiet... if got those friends who noe me well... i will usually scold back the person a great deal until my angers are vent out... then maybe i will cry... im not those who will hide my tears...

we did quarrelled the previous night over something.. this problem existed very long le... until now im still not quite sure if everything will be changed for the better after this incident.. when i go home at around 11+ im already quite tired le.. so i tok to him really awhile.. den i go sleep le.. next morning i wake up.. i saw his message.. " lets go separate for awhile." den i didnt want to prob more lor.. i just asked him until when? he say "dunno"

i didnt want to remain in the unhappiness.. so i remembered got shujuan they all going suntanning at sentosa.. so i just go la.. to keep myself occupied... i did mention to him before abt the sun tanning.. but i say if he go den i go.. now is different case mahz.. so i went myself.. hmm.. didnt reli enjoy much too.. i shared my feeling wif shujuan at the tower near the beach there.. for i think almost 2 hours.. den we went back... den i look at my hp.. he called me abt 7-8 missed calls... den i called back i say i at sentosa... den he hanged my fone.. after awhile received his bloody msg which says im a bitch.. like to enjoy myself alot... like to go naked infront of guys.. said alot of unpleasant stuff to me lor.. which i feel i shouldnt be accused of this blardy stuff.. feeling not so good le.. but i try not to put it on my face.. dun wan them to worry.. den after eating dinner at far east.. den walk around to hmv.. den suggested to go sing ktv..

we all very on one.. hmm.. maybe its also a good way so tat i dun have to go home so early to face my grief n sadness.. when shujuan tried to call him at the ktv.. he didnt even wanna tok properly to her.. den cup her fone le.. haiz.. den at the ktv quite alot of us sad over relationships..haha.. crying like a marathon!! hohoho.. but at least it feels better.. after it.. jeannette even helped my to scold him a bastard making him feel reli bad.. he kept calling me.. but i just turned my fone off.. he did tried to apologised after it.. but somehow i just feel that.. it's impossible for him to change his thinking so fast... they even say if u killed someone, can u just say sorry i didnt mean it? BULLSHIT@ but actually i didnt reli cared if he scold me a bitch or jian... i just angry n feel disappointed that he doubted abt our relationship and "why didnt he trust me?" kept going though my thoughts.. wad's written in the msg.. really killed alot of faith in him for the past 1 yr... i thought thru alot of things we've been thru.. really really alot of hard harder n hardest times.... we didnt gif up on each other then...... i wondered if i've chosen someone who really loved me or just a over-protected guy who cant even put a glimpse of trust unto me...

such a simple thing.. a few msges.. i reli cannot take it very well... wad's more in the future for me? although i loved him alot.. i noe i sometimes didnt showed it in the ways which he wanted.... but i can swear to god i nv doubted him of any unfaithful things b4.. even if sometimes i say suspect him of something... im just kidding around... it's something like a mutual trust between couples.. i thought he have it too.
im really afraid to lose him actually.... i just dun wish to go through the same old problems or even new relationship problems.. with another person.. like one of my poly friends says "dun wish to go back to square 1 again" it's really tiring .....

sometimes he will ask me whether he will be a memorable figure to me if one day we ever go our separate ways.. i will say yes.. becos he reli stands a great part of my life..

... Colin is someone i wanna treasure wif all my heart... i hope i had the oppotunity too. Dun wish to gif up.