Strumming Some Heartstrings

Friday, September 28, 2007
at 12:33 AM

If You wanna Cry, cry on my shoulder

sometimes thing just didnt end at a place where u hope it end, it just carry ur emotions along when u had put ur heart and soul into a person. Its really hard to come out. i've been really thinking this few days, those who reli know me, knows that i dun reli think much of a situation or a person, becos i cant commit myself. i just feel that the flesh part of me is coming back, longing for the wrong things from the wrong ppl again. sometimes i just wish that God can just take emotions out of every human, but dear friends it is not possible, becos we are like God, He smiles, He loves, He cries and He gets angry too. When we are made by Him, His breath is already in us. Bringing Joy into ppl's life around u and make sure u learn something out of this world before u get closer to being a resident in Heaven. Learning day by day how to control my emotions infront of those cancer patients, Today i have to face a girl who abort her baby, crying hard when they leave their precious to Heaven even b4 stepping to Earth. she claimed that she wanted to see the baby for the one last time before bury. when her tears drop i just couldnt continue talking to her. It is reli stupid la, but i have learnt to put myself into their shoes too much, i cry with them, i laugh with them. my joy at work is to know that their needs are met under my care. dunno if im doing overly, but i want to live my life to the fullest in case some day i drop dead somewhere and i have not commit myself to living a life to enhance their life. its a love hate relationship between me and my job, i guess everyone is the same as me. i've got a friend who loves the experience of things he is doing, but actually this dream is doing another kind of job scope, wondering should we continue seeking and continuing the life we are at or to fulfil our dream to be someone we wanna be? difficult man.. thoughts just kept running running.. it cant stop becos it has gone crazy. dear friends if u need someone to cry with you when u are sad or laugh with u when u r happy, just look for me ok. haha!!! :P i cant stop feeling for ppl around me.
you know you love me

at 12:11 AM

im such a Crazy Girl. Someone please pray for me.
you know you love me

Tuesday, September 25, 2007
at 11:48 AM


YOO~~ back from the bintan trip!!! had alot of fun and excitement with the ppl there and the things we do together :) it felt reli good to have friends whom u can share thoughts and life with by ur side, its not really easy actually. but God made it happened. i still remember the last cgm i went b4 going to bintan, its about discovering ur own flaws towards being an encourager. my own flaws is i cant reli commit time and effort into one's life and usually gave up 1/2 way if i didnt see results. jo and juan prayed with me and i know that God is aware of my prayer to become a better encourager than last time. Discovering ppl's potential and work out tgether with them the Jesus way. during this trip i met someone whom we can really work on to meet needs.

He is one of the friends of juan that didnt sleep almost every night. hmm should i say he is a person with secrets that others didnt know or a weird character? but to God i believe all things are made possible, whether is unbelief, bad past or a wounded spirit that needed encouragement on the way. When he shared about his life, we were really amazed by what he had gone through, just a person who have not been through even 1/2 of his life, it was really something i felt too hard. God is a God of patience and love with longsuffering able to cover to his flaws and past which he dont know yet. me and jo really feel for this soul, longing after spiritual stuffs just that in the wrong way, having his own theory of life, hurting himself while so many friends around really care for him. to cut the long story short, We prayed for him after he shared his life story, jo encouraged him to believe in his heart for God just this time before we pray for him, as he began to open up his heart to listen to us pray, Jo prayed prayers of casting out devil and generation curses, to have freedom over his own life which he cant control. after that i prayed for a healing of inner injuries emotionally, welcoming of Jesus into his heart to be his friend and companion for life. i really glad that we prayed for him, becos he felt God. interventing in his life and he saw a pair of red eyes starring at him hard. :) WE REALLY MADE THE DEVIL DAMN ANGRY LEH!!! Glen is no longer with the Devil's side and he felt threatened. after we prayed he felt scared in his heart. we should say its normal, becos it touched the spiritual realm and God is in the fight with him already!!! wowhooo..!! and at the end of the talk, he says ok la.. now the score for God and the Devil is 1:1 hehe.. at least we won 1 score for God!!!! :) I love Jesus to the max!!!

When u r overseas remember to pray before going, have an expectation of the trip and determine what kind of spirit u wanna go with, we will either light up the room or dim the room to welcome the devil! thanks Jo becos she is with me i know im not so weak.

last but not least, i got to know this song from planet shakers - BIG. really love it man.. i can always visualise the things that God did for me and things that r going to be done in my life!!! Enjoy!!!--->
you know you love me

Wednesday, September 05, 2007
at 12:21 AM

Being lenient to others and strict on yourself

its what i learn in the whole SOTM, that impacted me the most u can say that. becos of what u expect of others to do to u, do it to them. i believe in what ever that black leather book says. This is really one of my weakness i guess, when i expect others to be lenient to me when i make mistakes and being strict on others when they do wrong. always urge my members to go for makeup cgm but yet i myself is struggling. its hard la i can say, especially u go to a cgm that u have to reintro urself again and ppl around whom u dont know trying to make conversation and sound interested to know u more. but they are trying real hard. i dunno why, i cant see in their point of view. maybe i've been to too many and feel quite numb? To me a cellgroup is for ppl to interact and bring each other to know about God closer and look into each others life with a closer view. but some makeup cg, maybe its my problem la, i just cant fit in, and definitely cannot be interactive. which i know that im suppose to. recently i just went to a makeup cgm by cgl Jason Ang, he is the Trio leader leh!! amazed man... his cg got alot of youths alot alot.. almost 30 ppl i think, but its warm n cosy in the cg, i think if im to attend it alone, i will also be very inspired and excited!! okok.. maybe its to do with the youths, they are more happening!!! haha.. thank God for makeup cg from other zones like MJ zone.

Dear friends sorry for worrying about me, im quite ok, but due to tiredness at work and lack of exercise, im getting tired easily, and lack of exercise means fatness, and lost of self image, so naturally will feel abit down and plus the stupid HP which dun work when ppl call me, reli bothers me. i didnt mean not to answer call but it doesnt reflect in my hp that i have missed calls!!!! thanks for understanding! especially Gershon, ah li, marvis and Jean, Jes. hehe... i know u all love me~ thanks for the hug Jean, i know ur heart reli cares for ppl like me.

Colin all the best for the things that are ahead next tues, u are going for army@!! take care and be sure to be a strong man when u r back!!! God bless you!
you know you love me


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