Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




« go back

| Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie |
| Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie |
| Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie |
| Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie | Linkie |




« go back

at 12:50 AM

been asking myself what is all these about, if a friend whom u had a conflict with didnt understanf ur situation and failed to realise his/her mistake at the end of the day? i believe that forgiveness is not an option but what's next?


at 12:08 AM

I'm sorry gal

didnt mean to say those words,
i really wanna understand you,
wants to stand at ur point of your view,
but ur tone wasnt allowing me to,
i've always tot i can tolerate any bad attitudes,
im really sorry sorry sorry sorry.

one of the things which i regretted the most is to lost u as a friend n a buddy.
i nv want this to happen, believe me, i cant control my temper sorry.
dont wish to say any mushy stuff to fill up this gap,
u know how i've always look upon u.
friends for eternity -> you.


at 12:22 PM

http://www.kovideo.net/music/video/Rush-Of-Fools---Undo/907.html

Rush of Fools - Undo
I've been here before,
now here I am again
Standing at the door,
praying You'll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

Chorus:
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and graceI need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I've become

I focused on the score,
but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You


at 10:49 AM

Ever been to an encouraging CGM?

i have!!! :D went for carol's makeup cgm ytd, was actually feeling quite tired and wore out after working a noon shift followed by a morning shift, den spend some time choosing present and sitting at kfc to sleep for a while.. wah.. my flesh is like telling me not to go makeup cg, tomorrow take mc and go for my own cg. wah.. i find that i always have alot of excuses for not going to work, i can hear myself saying i've working for 7 days straight without rest, can also say that now alot of my colleagues sick, if i take nobody will know. PAUSE. guys!!! dun be fooled by what u hear from ur flesh!!! do u know that when u are about to have a breakthrough in something spiritual, the devil will make sure u fall in away is something that seems not so evil to do and makes u average out of what u do??? if he can let u think that u r average, u can nv do something great for God almighty!!! no threat to devil! muaahhahaaaa.....
im simply tormented throughout since i off from work till the road walking to carol's house, i almost cried, kept having all those kind of thoughts that tell me i should have gone to my own cgm, why must i walk so far, why must i come to a place where nobody really know i exist??? (for ur info, im a super I, i need to get notice, from not just one, but EVERYone.) haiz.. me and my pride sitting on the throne again, i feel that nobody will empathise with me becos this kind of feeling is so so so wrong!!!!!!! arghh...

fastforeward.... Cgm starts,, hehe.. actually i've listen to this msg b4, n i felt that its the same msg i've came to carol's house the previous time. she has given lots n lots of examples and things that we have reli gone through, she knows it all man!!! our inner voice has been voiced out by her, we heard how she overcome all this little setbacks and failure and picking herself up again, not tiring out herself when she need a rest, how to work hard n play hard!! if not u will burn out!! almost every senctence that she illustrate makes me smile n laugh!! its really atmosphere built by her alone cos all attention is on her.. wow... i reli find her amazing. i can feel that she uses all whats in her to preach to us, the msg will just stay in ur heart till u r back home to meditate on what she preaches.. its ok to feel tired, but dun be afraid of it, learn how to relax and pace urself out, dun wear urself out n give up. if u fail, its ok, learn ur lesson n move on, its not the end of the world.

If u wanna do something for God, now is the time.


at 11:00 PM

The Day she left the world

it was a day where dark clouds filled his sky,

a day when God's voice is a thousand miles away,

standing alone i can feel him cry,

when everyone leaves the place to rest.

deepest part is tearing away,

like a ruthless knight with his sword.

staying awake when no one's around,

his heart beats as the clock ticks,

silence is deafening in his world.

who can understand his heart breaking,

when no one is looking.

Except God,

He said to him,

I'm the light that darkness has nowhere to run,

what he sees with is naked eyes is just temporary,

things unseen is eternal, For him n For her.

clothed in white garment in Heaven,

waiting for the day of reunion.

The Lord says do not despair or be discourage,

For I am always with You.

(Eujean this is for you.)


at 6:38 PM

Through this emerge, i've learnt alot about togetherness and really ur self esteem cant be placed on ppl, how they look at you or how they perceive you.. the world may see you as insignificant, but you can really listen to what God is speaking to you. He is saying that you had done well, clever girl, you had really show improvement, the ppl around you like you!! they are feeling more relaxed and comfortable when u r around... so many things during im working in my ward!!! haha.. sometimes i feel that im abit flaky, why do i praise myself so much???? it sound so like so proud, but all these words i nv once said out... if not ppl will feel that im flaky!!!cos its the inner voice that says that nvm... try again, its not the end of the world, im so much useful than last time... encouraging me as i go on..

And do u know that even if i spend lesser time with my family... they actually cared about me more? I used to spend the whole day at home with them or outside, but i nv communicate so much as i wake up early for emerge, becos i know i have to leave the house early n come back home late, i will make sure i wake up even earlier to buy them breakfast, cos my parents usually wake up very early. spend sometime helping out in the laundry n vacuum the floor.. my mum sees that im doing what a daughter should do and making effort to find out what they r doing and stuff... they felt closer to me during the emerge times than nv b4~ :D my grandma got a morning wake up b4 and already bought breakfast for me to bring to emerge to eat!~ how good can God be? haha.. He knows that eating is my life!

The most fearful thing that i can imagine that is family might misunderstood what church is all about.. i will explained to them in the morning becos when i reach home after that they all slept le.. they know what time im at where and why i insist on going. communication is really very important!! esp with ur loved ones at home.. and most important i've been reminded of the purpose of why i do things, pastor kong once shared about a book about purpose driven life by an author Rick warren. very long ago he shared about knowing the purpose of what u are doing. serving in usher is really a time i know why i serve and how to serve God cheerfully with an open n contrite heart. He spoke to me right before the 2nd night i served that the ultimate purpose of me serving is because i wanna bring ppl closer to God, bringing them the best undisturbed and quality service to them and make them feel welcome to church. God says that night that if He can work through me, He can work in me too!! Be a vessel that is really broken for God and He will make sure u will not miss His anointing!!! that 3rd day i was serving emerge, and i was assigned to serve at the door, it means i couldnt watch the service or enjoy le.. cos im sitting behind the black curtains, was really thinking of what i can possibly do to worship n praise God... i prayed to God that i told Him, i know He will not shortchange me, He will make sure i get my anointing.. so i really set my heart to sit there till the service end le.. then the team leader came around and say its time to rotate, so another usher is there to guard the door, so i got into the service!!! Hee... my prayers answered! What He really wants to see is our heart towards him and stuff... He really dont care if i got to enjoy myself in the service anot, but He wants to know if my heart is right.

the Last day of Emerge, He is saying to me that everything melts by the touch of Love, agape Love which nobody could show in this world. He will melt every conflict n bad experience in order to start anew with Him, which is the reason i cried so much and desperately asked for Him so much, to bring our cellgroup back... it just tears me to think of how it was then. so unlove, so cold. i just feel that in my heart that day will we all kneeled b4 Him, He said no matter whether im in a cluster or not schooling, He doesnt care n He will build us where he planted us.. i know His word is really and through eternity it will not pass away, the fire i caught at the altar will not stop burning until the day i deicde to dampen it with self condemnation n worthlessness of His love. Thank you Jesus.


at 6:42 PM

finally the long awaiting Emerge is here!! and its over already!!! its like so fast!!! :P ive really learnt alot from it all... The Lord showed me how i can become effective in the midst of discouragement and failure.. The person whom is mentioned by a few verses in the bible, he really had persistence to do it all for God, killing his enemy by God's power 1 by 1. each day he feel so tired, missed his family so much but each day he wake up early to say "God, im here again for you to use me." He killed 600 philistines with an ox goad! What he had in his hands he use it for God's glory. His name is Shamgar. Judges 3:31 He had a powerful prayer life, very audacious, went all out for God's anointing, very willing for God to mobe in his life and most of all.. He has got the persistence!!!!!

alot of things i wanna share how God has bless my relationships with my parents n family and in my ministry and all, but i got no time now.. got to bathe n go to work already!! how i wish my whol family believed the same God that i see. and of cos i hope colin one day will see God too in his life.