Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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at 1:33 AM

My love, wan an jiu bie zai wei nan bie guan wo hui shou shang
xiang kai ti liang wo yi jing xi guan bu ran you neng zen yang?

tonight actually quite happy de.. :) got a piece of good new for me.. but dunno when he came back he will call me anot.. i hope he wil... miss him reli alot... hope everything will turn out well..i cant afford to let him have anything bad happened.. God pls treat him wif care.. i love him more than any other thing..




at 8:10 PM

hmm.. life is totally different... wifout him.. i feel lonely. of cos im still worry about whether he is comfortable now? dun feel scared my dear.. although im not there physically... u noe my love is with you.. sorry dear i already tried very very hard not not cry everytime i think of u... u r my everything.. if one day i really lose u .. i noe i can't hold on... always i tell myself.. at least u r still on earth.. there is one day we can meet~ :) not as if forever i can't see u.. at least u still love me.. you r the best to me do u noe? there wun be anyone who love me like u do.. and i wun change my heart... hehe.. im as sturbborn as u.. very happy abt it.. becos at least ur character is within me.. and i noe i will always be in ur heart... wad ever thing that may happen.. dun gif up on urself.. becos i will be there standing.. at the same place.. wait for u to come~ hehe.. happy anot? kekek although i noe u wun be able to read my blog... but i noe somehow u will noe how im feeling and wants to tell u... u always noe wad im thinking de... im so happy at least this whole world there is someone who is U understand and stand wif me no matter wad happens... dun be worried k.. becos nothing's gonna change my love for u...


at 8:47 PM

it's the 29th hour im worrying.. how is he? wad is he doing? is he fine? eaten already? feeling comfortable? scared anot? will anything worse going to happen to him? anybody bully him? wad is he thinking now?

Dear God, i noe writing in the blog wun help anything and probably You wun hear my prayers but i really wish him safety, God is going to watch over him . please dun like his dream be ruined. He is going to have a hard time after this... Dearest God, please pull him through his darkest hour and make him learn from any mistakes he made... I hope u give me the power to comfort him and strengthen him from tomorrow onwards.. He's my everything i can say.. been so afraid that he might got into any mishap had drive me crazy at work this morning... i dunno wad more can i do rather than wait wait and ... wait.

*how i wish im invisible and be there with him where he needs me the most* :*(


at 4:08 PM

nothing much to blog today.. too tired. Just hope that God will bring him back safely to me. i pray that he wun get into any trouble again. -The Hazel which worried sick for the past 23 hrs-


at 2:04 PM

hi guys.. hmm ytd i went to china black wif juan, baby lee huat, den saw jasmine n ivy and ashura and fadilah they all. hmm, all dancing queen kept dancing:x no chair to sit maybe thats why all dancing.. very long nv go clubbing le.. hmm fun time :) the music there mainly is r&b abit of the 80s sometimes also got pop music.. hate the infront part is all some kind of trance... the heart thumbing non-stop.. at first feel like difficulty in breathing becos got the beat in the heart.. hmm alot of ppl dancing...

JUst Quarreled wif him... i noe u ALL ALONG FIND ME A SLUT AND FLIRT AROUND WIF GUYS... BUT I REALLY NV OK.. IM NOT SUCH A BITCH AND IM REALLY INNOCENT.. IF NOT U CAN GO N ASK SHUJUAN THE WHOLE NIGHT I GOT DANCE WIF OTHER PPL EXCEPT HER ANOT.. AND PLEASE DUN DESTROY MY CHARACTER N EGO PLS.dun come n ask me:HOW LONG DO I NEED TO FIND ANOTHER GUY IF WE BREAK UP!!!!!!!! I REALLY HATE U HATE U HATE U HATE U HATE U..UR WORDS R TEARING ME APART.


at 8:35 AM

hehe thankz guys for all ur encouragement.. :) i feel better.. since i chose this path.. no matter wad happen i must hold on.. although i can't stand critizism and hope eveyone to like me but i noe its impossible. Just have 2 accept everything and learn out of these lessons... if i dun pick up myself, nobody can.

today the same lecturer kena my ward again.. later she going to assess me again.. doing a process call (CIC) clean intermittent catheterisation. hmm everything must be sterile. dunno wad will happen later.. but since that time she nv reli scold me already maybe im just as lousy and find that scolding me also useless le. sometimes i feel tat in certain way she's good.. she pester me for procedures for her to observe... if not i have to go n find her .. issn't it betteR? :P

recently colin doubt me again... haiz. all becos of a guy's msg.. i dun even noe becos he checked that time got a new msg in my inbox, i wasn't there.. haiz. i dunno wad happen to him, why a simple msg can push down all the trust he has in me. issit so shallow that something small can appear so unfaithful in his eyes? until today den i noe im not turstworthy all this times.. everything i do for him.. seems invisible in his eyes... suddenly i feel that i dun noe him that well.. n he dun understand me as much. why why why.. i tot love is trust... anyway.. i forget things fast.. hope the same thing DUN happen again.


at 10:54 PM

FallEn_-_Sarah McLachlan
(it's a nice song~ just bought her CD.. hope u all enjoy it!~ :P)

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
[2X]




at 12:50 PM

hiya... again on a saturday i updating my blog.. haiz.. ytd was a stay-home-good-friday for me... becos really tired after all work in hospital.. i nv imagine it to be so much tiring as working as a banquet waitress... becos both also require long hours of standing.. thursday was a lousy day for me... the lecturer all along dun like me... becos im lagged of knowledge and experiences in the ward.. haiz.. im the most clumpsy there.. haiz.. during the 2 weeks there i feel that im really not up to it.. not a good nurse... lagged of capability... when the lecturer tok to me abt whether i have interst in nursing actually.... i couldn't answer her... she asked me if i chose nursing becos my o level results too high... i got nothign to say.. my ego was no where to be found.. i felt that i was really very bad n dum b n feeling very low .. u can just say i couldnt control my emotions, i can't believe that i cried in front of her.. i know wad she's thinking of me.. she thinks that i cry becos she scolded me.. actually is not. .. althoguh i noe she had a bad impression of me... i dun care abt wad she thinks at ALL.. my tears r for the incapabilty i had in the wad.. sometimes i just im useless in the ward... but i think she tried to comfort me.. she say at least im hardworking... which i think others r more hardworking n better than me... :(

I hope the next two weeks of attachment, i wun be as clumpsy.. *sobZ*


at 11:22 PM

yoyo~ long time no blog le... nowadays busy wif the attachment.. reach home i sleep le... today nan de go out walk walk wif boyfriend... went to sell hp n seen other ppl's bike.. quite nice lor black colour kawasaki... but he prefered XP more... Xp look more cook of cos.. but the other seller selling Xp the condition not very good.... some more so ex.... now on li got money to pay 1/2 of it onli.. -.-" sometimes i just wished i have the bonded money.. den we wun be struggling so much to get wad he wants... if i want to buy anything all i have to do is study hard for the semester can liao hor.. ke lian leh me.. but i scared my results not as good... if not good must pay back the bonded money.. i where got that kind of money.. hmm.. haiz..

today went to see my cousin.. she's back to IMH again.. ke lian.. its the first time i visited her.. she looked very lonely.. haiz.. she sometimes tok very normal but after awhile she will start to anyhow tok.. feel very sad for her.. if me i surely die inside.. i cant stand loneliness.... colin n i thinking that actually we very fortunate.. can breathe the air outside of the IMH.. is the smell of freedom~~~ we must reli treasure.. Hope that she can faster get out of the hosp.